Right around 4:30 this afternoon I started getting hungry. It didn't help that I spied the container that held the chocolate cake from last night's dinner in my garbage can. It didn't help that it was one of those clear containers and the smears of chocolatey cake goodness could still be viewed. It didn't help that I wanted to take that container out and lap up the cake remnants like a crack whore and a dirty mirror. But I stopped myself. I went through my food box and kinda got a read on what was sent to me. I didn't do an inventory, and only found 3 egregious substitutions (split pea soup. peanut butter granola bar and black bean soup). So, at 4:30 I had my 'dessert' of one chocolate graham bar, which was actually pretty good.
Around 5:30 I decided to have my dinner, Chicken and Dumplings, because I was thinking I would take the youngin to the mall after school and I didn't want to be tempted with the deliciousness that is Cinnebum and Wetzels Pretzels, and all other manner of yummy junk food. The Chicken and Dumps was ok. Not great, but not horrible.
Like I said, I went through my Nutrisystem packet and read through some of the stuff they sent. Evidently I have to eat a bunch of salads and fruits and veggies and milk products to round out the nutrients. I kinda knew this before, but I hoped it was only a once a day thing, because frankly, leaving it up to me to portion-control and calorie count three salads/veggies/fruits a day is a little beyond my abilities right now. The reason I got into this mess in the first place is an inability to make healthy choices on my own, and the lure of a wonderful bakery right down the street.
A friend told me this story, many years ago, about her then 4 year old daughter, which I have always found absolutely hilarious. The family had some friends over, one of whom was a very nice lady, who happened to be shaped like a pear. She was seemingly normal sized on top, but at the waist, her hip, butt and thighs were of immense proportions. I've seen people like this and so I could well imagine the woman. Anyways, the lady was sitting in the middle of the living room floor, chatting up her hosts, when the 4-year old walked in. She went to the women, looked at her this way and that, surveyed her from behind and then finally stood right in front of the women and said,very matter-of-factly 'you know, you have a big fat butt!". Of course the girl said this with all the innocence of a child, and she said it without judgement, but with a little awe, like you would expect a child to say 'you know, you have blue eyes' or 'you know, I can fly to the moon'. Unfortunately, the lady did not take this comment in the spirit it was offered and became greatly offended and left in a huff, and now 15 years later, has still not spoken to the family. The point it, if you went to all the trouble to raise a big fat butt, then for Dog's sake OWN YOUR BIG FAT BUTT! You should be proud of the accomplishment, not ashamed of it. How can you be offended by the truth?
In the spirit of that story, I made a sign for my office. It reads in large font, 'you have a big fat butt'. The funny thing is that I made the font on 'butt' so large that it spilled onto the next page, similar to how my butt would act in real life. I took this sign, and have it hanging on the wall in front of me. First of all, it makes me laugh every time I see it, which is a good thing. Second, it reminds me that change comes externally, and when you own your faults, you're in a better position to change them (if you're troubled by them). So, yes, I have a big fat butt. No, I don't think there is anything wrong at all with a big fat butt. I like my butts big and fat, as a matter of fact! But if you want to change your big fat butt, you first have to admit that it does, indeed, exist. Having a sign up, reminds me of my big fat butt (as if walking sideways through doorways and hallways isn't reminder enough, lol) and it reminds me that a big fat butt isn't the end of the world, you can find humor in a big fat butt, and for that you're all the richer.
Ok, that's my all my posts for the day. Celebrate your big fat butts!
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